we're getting good at this
by receding shadows
Summary: He doesn't know how it starts exactly, or who makes the first move, but he does know that there is something going on between the two of them that others might consider "inappropriate". / Spam


**we're getting good at this**

**summary: **He doesn't know how it starts exactly, or who makes the first move, but he does know that there is something going on between the two of them that others might consider "inappropriate".

**disclaimer: **I do not own iCarly.

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The first time it happens, Carly is in Yakima visiting their Granddad.

Sam and her mother are in another one of their infamous fights, and being the good guy he is, he lets Sam stay in the apartment with him.

It's almost midnight, and they're sitting on the ratty couch watching some old Girly Cow reruns, a bowl of popcorn sitting between them. One of the characters does some stupid stunt, and one of the most beautiful sounds he's over heard suddenly fills the apartment. It dawns on Spencer for the first time, that Sam Puckett has quite an angelic laugh.

_Why are you thinking these things, _he wonders in his mind, _this is your little sister's _best friend _here, this is the girl you practically watched grow up. _

"You okay?" she questions, blue eyes sparkling with concern. He must have been staring.

"Of course," he says, chuckling, "I guess I just forgot how funny this episode was."

She eventually falls asleep on his shoulder, and he feels like even more of a creep as his eyes guiltily glance over her body, and he realizes just how "grown up" she's become.

.

He really isn't sure what possesses him to give her the motorcycle.

Maybe it's because she did a large sum of the work on it herself, or maybe it's because he remembers just how excited she was when she first saw it. Or perhaps, he just wants to make her happy, wants to see that large, pearly smile adorning her face.

After trying it out, she jumps off the back and runs to him with a childish happiness he doesn't think he's ever seen on her. He likes this, he thinks as she wraps her smaller frame around him and squeezes, he likes this a lot.

"You're a really good friend, Spence."

And maybe they hold their hug out a little too long for people who are just friends, for people who are a good 12 years apart in age, but that's perfectly fine with him, because he knows that this is where he wants to be.

.

Freddie and Gibby never really come around anymore after Carly leaves.

It's strange, because they all used hang out in the apartment even when Carly wasn't there. In fact, he would consider it to be strange if he came home to an empty apartment. He guesses that part of their life is over. iCarly ended, and they're all getting on with their lives, going on to bigger and better things. (Though what could be bigger and better than a famous web-show with millions of viewers?)

Sam though, Sam always stays.

He doesn't know how it starts exactly, or who makes the first moves, but he does know that there is something going on between the two of them that others might consider "inappropriate".

He never complains though, and he doesn't dare ask her to leave. He gets a little lonely when he's by himself.

.

"Let's make a birthday cake."

He's in the living room working on a new sculpture (He's not sure what it is yet. Maybe a big spoon), and she's sitting at the bar in the kitchen, looking up random videos on the internet.

It's an odd proposal, a random one at that, and coming from anyone else Spencer would have thought they were insane. But, it's Sam, and she probably just wants an excuse to make a cake.

"Who's birthday is it?" he asks, smiling and wiping his clay covered hands off on a towel.

"I don't know. It has to be somebody's, somewhere," she answers, swirling around in her chair and giving him a puppy dog look.

"Hmm. That's true. Yeah, alright, let's do it."

They end up making a huge mess, somehow managing to get flour on the ceiling and cake batter all over their bodies. They're both laughing so hard and having so much fun, that when a little bit of batter ends up on Sam's nose Spencer can't stop himself from leaning over and licking it stare at each other for a few moments, both analyzing the situation more than they should.

Suddenly all those years of harmless flirting and crushing have all ended up at this one point, and their lips are crashing together in less than a second. Her fingers tangle themselves in his hair as he lifts her up and sets her on the counter, tongues exploring each other's mouths.

They finally break apart for air, and the realization of what they just did hits them both like a ton of bricks.

"Shit," Sam says, "Shit, shit, shit."

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't, that was a mistake," Spencer stammers, "I should go to bed." He backs away from her, allowing her to get down from the island.

"Yeah. I should probably be getting home too," she admits, smoothing out her clothes.

They never mention it again.

.

Carly comes home for Sam's eighteenth birthday, and Spencer lets them throw another party in the apartment.

He doesn't wanna leave them all in the apartment alone, but doesn't want to intrude either, so he locks himself in his bedroom with a bottle of whiskey and a handful of movies and has his own party.

He's not stupid, he knows what goes on at teenage parties, and he knows that somebody probably spiked the punchbowl. The party is in full swing. The music is blaring, and he can hear people trying to drunkenly sing karaoke, when the door to his room suddenly opens.

He sees the blonde, curly ringlets of hair and immediately knows who it is.

She shuts door behind her, climbs up in bed beside him, and takes a swig out of the whiskey bottle in his hand. She's already drunk, he can tell by the way she can't stop giggling. Somewhere in the back of his mind there is a responsible adult, but he's been doing his fair share of drinking tonight also, and he's too far gone to care about reprimanding her.

"What're you doing in here?" he asks after a while of just lying there listening to her giggle. "Shouldn't you be out there at your party?"

"I miss you, Spencer," she sits up as she says this, taking both of his hands in hers.

"Sam," he starts, "you really shouldn't be in here."

She scoffs. "I'm not a little girl anymore, Spence," she says, and he knows this, _believe him_, he definitely knows this. She leans up to press her lips against his.

"Sam-" he starts again, but it interrupted by her placing her finger on his mouth.

"Shhh," she whispers, "it's fine, just _shut up._"

She kisses him again, and this time he doesn't refuse, even kissing her back. He pulls her up into his lap, and their kissing gets more furious, more demanding. Her tongue makes it's way into his mouth, and he thinks he hears a faint whisper of "_I'm not a little girl, you can touch me," _somewhere in his ear.

He thinks it's kind of cliche that they end up doing it the night she turns legal, but he blames it on the alcohol.

.

Things go back to normal after a little while. Carly returns to Italy, Freddie and Gibby stop coming by again, and he and Sam go back to just being "friends who hang out and occasionally flirt".

They basically pretend the night of her eighteenth birthday never happened, and neither one of them brings it up. They hang out like they did before. Sam still spends the night occasionally (sleeping in Carly's room of course), and Spencer is never surprised when he wakes up to the random smell of bacon cooking.

Everything is fine, until one day, they both happen to be drunk again.

Spencer had just gotten back from Socko's house, where they drank beers and tried to make Socko forget about the girlfriend that just dumped him. Needless to say, they got completely hammered.

He's sitting on the couch, eating a tub of ice cream and laughing his head off at Celebrities Underwater, when Sam walks in the door in a _very_ risque dress, and tall black heels.

As soon as she slams the door, she's on top of him, kissing and clawing at his clothes and kicking off her heels faster than he's ever seen anyone move. "_Please," _she whispers.

And Spencer, always being the good guy, is never one to turn down someone who says please.

.

"We can't keep doing this," he says to her one day.

They're looking through old photo albums of Carly and him when they were young, Sam occasionally laughing at the goofy faces Spencer always seemed to be making.

She looks at him with her eyebrows creased, eyes squinted in confusion. "Doing what?" she asks, although he can tell she knows exactly what she's talking about.

"You know what, Sam."

"Oh. That."

.

She leaves a few days later.

She collects all the clothes she's left lying around the apartment, packs up all her things in a suitcase, and leaves him with nothing but a few messy words scribbled on an old receipt.

"There was only one thing keeping me tied down here, and that's gone now. I'll be in LA. Don't miss me."

It should be a good thing. He can move on, get out of whatever little fantasy they were living in. He can get some new friends, start seeing a girl thats _actually his age._ And besides, it was his idea to stop whatever they had going on, anyway.

But for some reason, he can't help but be a little hurt that she would just leave him here alone.

.

He starts dating a woman named Cassandra.

She has tan skin, dark, auburn hair, and doe brown eyes to match. Cassandra is one of the nicest girls she's ever met. She volunteers at the nursing home every Wednesday, she holds doors open for people, and she says 'please' (even when they're not having sex).

Cassandra is safe. Cassandra makes him forget the fact that he and Sam ever had anything. Cassandra makes him forget that Carly told him that Sam is seeing a boy in LA, and that she thinks they're getting really serious.

Spencer thinks, that if there wasn't a tiny bit of hope for something else holding him back, that he would want to marry Cassandra.

.

It's Christmas, and everyone is back to celebrate one last time before they go their separate ways for good.

Spencer finally decided to propose to Cassandra, and they're planning on moving back to her hometown in North Dakota after the wedding. Carly is planning on staying in Italy for a while, as she's been seeing a boy there for about 6 months. Freddie is going to focus on school, and he's been keeping busy with his job at the Pear Store. Even Gibby has a girlfriend, and she might even be prettier than the last one.

The only person missing is Sam, and they almost give up on her coming and start to eat without her, when she strides through the door, high heels clacking against hardwood. She gives out all the necessary hugs, and that's when they all notice her new diamond ring. And which finger it happens to be on.

Carly gushes forever, saying things like "You're so lucky," and "When am I gonna get a ring like that?" They all talk and eat and open presents, just like they did back in the good old days, when they still had a web-show and Carly lived with Spencer and the only thing Sam worried about was food.

At the end of the night, when everyone has said their goodbyes and left, Spencer walks Sam out to her car.

"I really miss you, you know," he admits to her as she puts her bag in the trunk. "Can I at least get a hug goodbye? Everyone else got one."

She smiles, and pulls him to her. Somehow her lips find their way against his.

"For old time's sake."

.

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**a/n: **thanks for reading, and please leave a review! constructive criticism is always appreciated.


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